This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize