You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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