then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
