I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize