You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
