No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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