i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
