we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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