You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
