I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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