I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
