FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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