By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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