Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
