her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
