i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
