You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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