So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
