I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Randomize
