Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
