I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
