My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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