Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
