YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
