I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
