You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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