Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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