vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
