I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
