One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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