Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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