i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
