Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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