what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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