wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
