walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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