im about as happy as oj after his trial
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
