i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
