We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
