I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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