Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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