Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
