He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she smelled like a LAN party
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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