so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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