Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
