i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
