They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
