the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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