"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
