READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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