Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
