i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize