I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
