I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
