On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he laminated a picture of his dick.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
