OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
