you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
